Until this blog becomes popular enough to allow me to earn as much as a full-time job (or even more), I must necessarily find a job, trying to keep it for as long as possible and, in the event of a loss, finding another one quickly. That is the theory. Currently, however, I find myself in the position of having been looking for work for over a year without having found anything yet. However, I have savings that allow me to stay home to look for a job and, in the meantime, to carry on with this blog.

Why am I talking about my drama? With this post, I would like to use my disastrous personal experience to try to understand one very simple thing: what does it take to define your own perfect workplace? Not nice, not interesting, but perfect? Let’s get something good out of something bad. I have thought long and hard about what could be defined as a perfect job. The funny thing is that there isn't much to talk about; however, what I’ve come up with is so unattainable that it felt like being with Snow White while she talked to the birds. I could have avoided talking about it and let it end there. But I am a great masochist, so I want to talk about it anyway.

My Experience.

For this post, I will use my life as a base for the reasoning of the entire post. After all, it is the only experience I can share freely. I know other work stories that are even more aberrant than mine, but unfortunately, mine remains the only one accessible.

Let's start with my first experience. It was an 18-month internship as a surveyor in Milan, almost my hometown, since I was born just a couple of kilometers away. The experience lasted six months, during which I worked 50 hours a week for 500 euros a month WITHOUT SOCIAL SECURITY OR HEALTHCARE, only to be told that I was incompetent, stupid, and lazy. Furthermore, I witnessed something I am fairly certain was illegal: one day, out of nowhere, the colleagues in the department where I was working started watching a porn film. The best part? Even the department head was there and accepted it with a smile, as if it were something funny and normal. Ah, also, every month they didn't want to pay my expense reimbursement—not because I hadn't worked, but because it was in a different format than what was used in the office, even though it had been agreed upon that way, and they punctually contested every entry I made. Grateful to have lost that job.

In 2013, I moved to Germany, but unfortunately, the situation did not improve. Every company had a fundamental problem, common also to Italian companies: a lack of prospects, immobility, and little money. We are talking about decades in which one starts a job and retires doing that same job. It is a sort of life sentence. It doesn't matter how much experience you have, how much talent you show, or if you are competent; you stay right there, exactly at that desk, in that office with those tasks. In ten years of working in Germany (from 2015 to 2025), I changed about six companies, never staying in one for more than a year. I worked for about six years and was unemployed for four. I signed every contract with the idea of doing the job I was paid for and going home. Too bad that, once signed, those tasks were redistributed or canceled, effectively leaving me inside a company literally warming a chair.

Like me, many others leave their jobs for this and many other reasons. It is a problem because employees leave and companies do not understand why. This brings us back to my initial question: what must a job offer to be considered ideal? An ideal work environment retains employees within the company, allowing the company to plan for the future on solid foundations. Let’s get ready to laugh and curse, noting with regret that the world of work is even shittier than we think.

The perfect job

Transparency.

The problem starts immediately, even before you speak with the company itself. When you read the ads, everything seems perfect: great opportunities, great benefits, and that idea that everything looks wonderful. So you fall for it, you apply, you do everything to get that position, thinking it’s great, and then you start working. Immediately you realize that what you read in the ad and what you tried in every way to obtain is not the reality at all: opportunities do not exist, benefits are only in certain cases and not for everyone, and that wonder was just dung painted gold.

Since changing a society is difficult, let's at least change the communication. It would be nice if people didn't lie shamelessly. I would be happier if a company wrote in its ads: "We suck as a company, we give no chances or privileges, the candidate starts work, doesn't know what awaits them, stays longer than agreed, and goes home exhausted. In exchange, we give them money just to survive!"

If I read something like that, I would be relieved (happy would be too much), because it means the company is not lying, but telling the truth. At least when I apply, I will know in advance that that place will be a bad and unstimulating environment. At least I know it from the start and prepare myself, rather than being charmed by perfection when perfection is not at home.

Then we have the drama of the "big family." You know, right? That idea that in the company everyone dances, sings, and unicorns roam the corridors of the building. I don't know why, but all companies write that in their company there is a cordial, familial atmosphere and a horizontal hierarchy where everyone is on the same level. Aside from the fact that a "horizontal hierarchy" does not exist, because the boss will always be above you. They have to be; otherwise, what would be the point? It will be a vertical hierarchy, with rigid command lines in airtight compartments, where no one listens to anyone, where nothing changes, where everyone thinks of themselves, and any criticism will be seen as a personal affront. It would be nice if companies put in their ads "not only do we suck as a company, but as people, we are no better!"

Home Office.

I'm not talking about smart working, because that would mean completely changing the corporate and work structure from the foundations. Given such an old political and managerial class, I doubt there is a desire to change. Even home office is enough for me. I understand that in many fields, such as transport, maintenance, and logistics, it is impossible to have a home office, but in an office job? Whether I answer a customer from home or from the office, what the hell does it change? Whether I take part in those useless corporate calls from my bed at home or from my desk makes no difference at all. I understand that, during the trial period, they want to see how the newcomer works, but after that?

If I have worked for years in the same company and do the same things, what sense does it make to go to the office? Let me work from home. But it’s not possible because employers think that "at home you work less" and "human contact is needed." Point one: know, my dear employers, that a worker can produce very little even in the office, finding a thousand excuses not to do their job. Point two: I don't need to relate to people I would like to see suffer from dysentery. Make this damn home office standard starting from the end of the trial period (a period that must always last six months, no more, to prevent the employer from being sneaky and preventing the employee from staying home to work).

If you think about it, even the company itself says, "We want workers who work autonomously!" In my world, when someone says that, I expect there to be no nagging control. The boss only expects the work to be done well and on time. The how and where shouldn't be a problem, right? Then why must a worker always be at work? Unless that "trust" the company claims to have isn't there at all.

Money.

My idea has nothing to do with the amount of money. Or rather, not only. We all love making a heap of money. But I also know that money must be given based on the amount of responsibility and work one has in the company. A worker's honest expectation should be to obtain a salary that is adequate for the work we do and the time we dedicate to it. Demanding money just because "I've worked for a long time" is absolute nonsense.

The personal conflict I have with money is that the sum stays the same. And you will say "Thank you for the great truth that no one knew!" (obviously, I'm being sarcastic). My problem is not the amount of money, but what I can buy with that sum. Because of inflation, my net is always less. If you notice, with 3,000 euros gross a month now you barely survive; 30 years ago you lived a great life.

It would be wonderful if the State took on the legal obligation to automatically adapt workers' salaries to inflation, so that workers always have the same purchasing power. If you think about it, politics created systematic inflation at 2%; let it take responsibility for its error. How beautiful that would be! For your whole life, you would have the same purchasing power. Which would help in planning your future, knowing that for your whole life you can afford a certain range of goods and services. At least you always know if you are poor, super poor, or less poor.

One’s Own Office.

The idea of one's own office has nothing to do with a job of importance. Sure, a nice comfortable office, with free drinks and a beautiful view, would be the dream of many. But not everyone can aspire to that. As far as I'm concerned, I would be very happy to have a humble job, but with a space of my own. I would even be fine with a space of two square meters, maybe next to the brooms and detergents. It’s enough if the room has four walls, a ceiling, and a door.

I, like many others, cannot stand the idea of working in a huge room with other people, without having any privacy. Not that I hate my neighbor. My God, that’s not the only reason. I find it damn annoying to work with people sitting next to you, talking in your ears, eating loudly, making annoying noises, or walking behind and in front of you. Working in an open space is a continuous distraction and a source of mental madness. You can't write an email without someone seeing it, you can't make a phone call in complete tranquility without everyone knowing, and you can't think out loud, otherwise others will hear.

How nice it would be to enter the building, clock in, enter your own little cubicle, and work alone in holy peace, without anyone watching what you do, when you do it, and how you do it. No more embarrassment if you eat, if you drink, if you stand up, or if you breathe. You go in, do your job, and go home! A spectacle for your mental health! If someone needs you, but you want nothing to do with that person, you lock yourself inside and play dead.

Family Policies.

It is often said that the population is decreasing because too few babies are being born and too many old people are retiring and staying alive for a long time. Companies complain they can't find labor and it seems we are all about to end up under a bridge because the system will collapse tomorrow morning. The general idea is not to lose workers today and try to have workers tomorrow. Immigration helps, but it is not the solution for everything.

Politics should do something. Right, but if it doesn't, what do we do? I’ll throw it out there: start thinking for yourselves? If companies need workers for the coming years, give couples (or moms) the possibility of being mothers and workers. I'm not talking about applying policies for growth (that is up to politics); I'm talking about small precautions that would make the whole life of a couple or a single mom much simpler, for what a society can offer.

One example would be unlimited home office. If a woman wants to stay home, she stays, looks after the child, and works in the meantime. If home office is not possible (I find it difficult, but let's assume it can't be done), the most beautiful thing would be to create company daycare centers that allow the mother or father to leave the child at the company and work in the same building. When the parent is finished, they take the child and go home. Does it seem like such a difficult thing? In the end, all you need is a room, a few toys, and an educator. Or give benefits to those who have children, maybe some extra money or some benefit. I don't know, if the people at the head of companies consider themselves intelligent and bright, surely they could find a solution.

Expense Reimbursement.

This is the part that no one thinks about. Or rather, the heads of various companies have probably thought about it, but they do nothing because it's not convenient. A worker, to go to work, must dress, move, and eat. Since they are forced to go to the workplace all day, and often there is no company canteen, they must spend money so as not to faint from hunger and to be decent. Those costs are costs that an employee would not incur if they stayed at home. Too bad that money is completely lost because it is not reimbursed. "Eh, but the salary is there for that!" say the employers. No, the salary pays for the work performance agreed upon in the employment contract. Commuting is not to be considered "performance," so it should be paid separately. I know that now you can deduct it from taxes, but it is not the State that should take care of it, but the company itself that must reimburse those costs in full.

It is unacceptable for a company to ask its employees to travel forcibly to the office and not have the costs for going to that place paid. It should be standard practice. If you, entrepreneurs, want people to do your work, you must not force that same worker to pay.

Small Reflections.

So, what does it take to define a "perfect" workplace? Reading my points, it would seem that I am asking for the moon. But if we look closely, I am only asking for honesty, respect for time, and economic dignity. I ask not to be teased by ads written in dense "corporatespeak" and not to have to pay out of my own pocket (in money and mental health) for the privilege of making someone else rich.

The truth is that the job market today is a theater of the absurd where we are unpaid (or underpaid) actors who must even say thank you for the script. The perfect place perhaps doesn't exist, but a "normal" place would be enough: where if you work you produce, if you produce you get paid fairly, and where your life outside those four walls is not considered an annoying optional extra.

While waiting for companies to stop painting dung gold, I continue to invest in this blog. Because between the risk of failing following an idea of my own and the certainty of rotting in an office that considers me an interchangeable number, I have decided that I prefer the former.

M.