If writing the post about the male half came easily to me—belonging as I do to that part of the world that knows the drama of the penis doing whatever it wants in the morning—writing about the female side was not quite so simple. I have already written a post on what, in my opinion, a woman looks for in love. It is a post worth reading, whether to say "you’re right" or to say "you really have a very small brain!"

One thing is certain: I am about to enter a very narrow alleyway, like those in American car chases, where I could get seriously hurt if I don't write things properly. We all know how sensitive women are regarding their public image and how they try to protect it like an NFL team protects its quarterback. A post with false information or full of insults or stereotypes would be quite a problem. This entire piece will be the search for the answer to one simple question: what is a woman?

I won’t write things like "she is a strong and independent being," "the creator of life," and so on. We already know that and are aware of it. This is the rhetoric the world is selling, and selling very well. But once the smokescreen of propaganda is removed, what remains? What is the true essence of a woman?

Ambitious

In Business

A woman always seeks the maximum. The goal is to aim for the top of the pyramid, only to then have to settle, like everyone else. In this case, everything is perfectly balanced (Thanos would be proud).

To reach that peak, a woman will spend a long time shedding tears, sweat, blood, and toil (well, maybe not literally blood). Not only to prove to herself, but to the entire world, that she is capable... a world that, in her eyes, oppresses her as a woman (even though the world tramples everyone, without distinction).

For this reason, in the working world, a woman knows how to be a war machine. She cannot afford moments of weakness; otherwise, the patriarchal work world will destroy her (even though the patriarchal work world destroys everyone). Once she sees the bone to bite, she won't stop until it's in her hands. She must prove she is better and show the world how men are not up to the task. In the vast majority of cases, she will use all her capacity for endurance by working hard—more and better than men—often sacrificing even her social life just to prove her worth and show she is deserving of that command post unjustly occupied by a man.

In a normal work world, this would be enough to guarantee positions of prestige, command, and control. But it isn't. The world of work sucks so much that everything changes without anything changing. Even if working dynamics shift, the people who control them are always the same. This immobility allows no one to move.

And that world is about to get even worse. In this specific moment, something terrible happens. If a man surrenders, given the immutability of reality, a woman does not accept surrender. That instinct for supremacy is too strong, and she has sacrificed too much for too long to throw in the towel. She knows she is worth a lot. For the male world, the doors would be closed, but not for a woman. Ambition sometimes leads a woman to stop reasoning with morality, becoming an implacable, cold, and calculating being with nothing in her head and eyes but the completion of the mission.

In that case, an opportunity exists... an opportunity that would lead straight to the goal, but which almost no woman takes. Why? Well, not everyone is ready for such a step. It is a humiliating and degrading road, dictated by a purely male work world often filled with carnal desire.

What a woman does in some cases is go as far as flirting with power and, in extreme cases, going to bed with it if necessary. It is not something a woman does because she likes it, but in a pure war for power and control, everything is permitted. Morality does not bring mountains of money into the bank account. "If a man won't grant me what I want based on my ability, I use his animalistic instinct against him! He gets my body, I get his life!" A woman is forced to use the only REAL chance a man in power gives a woman to shine. The soul will always be stained, but what matters is the goal.

Or, in the most extreme cases, the atomic weapon is used: the harassment lawsuit. In a post-Hollywood world, where reputation is pulverized by mere suspicion before a judge even sees the evidence, this is the final move to eliminate an obstacle. It doesn't matter if the act is real or a story artfully constructed for the climb; the mere mud slung is enough to clear the seat. Within a company, this power over professional life and death is a temptation that the darkest ambition cannot refuse.

In a world dominated by men, where not even the men themselves are rewarded for merit, a woman will do whatever is necessary to win. She must win, at any cost. Does it sound terrible? Certainly. But in a market that has stopped rewarding talent, every individual uses the ammunition they have in the chamber. If the system is a sewer, one cannot be surprised if someone decides to get their hands—or their soul—dirty just to keep from drowning.

In Love.

In love, too, a woman knows how to be ruthless in her ambition... an ambition that will often lead her to pay the price. If the price of ambition at work was shame, now it is potential solitude.

There are many women who have the desire to become mothers and wives. Their goal is to find a man, create something together, and live their lives happily. In these cases, very many cases, a woman does not need to sacrifice her career, because the career is not something she needs. Logic would say these women are not ambitious. On the contrary, they are very ambitious. Ambition begins at the start and stops at the end. A woman wants the perfect man and won't stop until she gets him (the first chapter). The real problem happens at the finale. Some are lucky and find what they are looking for, living happily ever after.

Unfortunately, others follow the ambition of perfection, spend a whole life looking for it, and end up alone and unhappy, regretting that boy who maybe wasn't perfect, but with whom they could have been happy. Unfortunately, in love, you never know if you will meet perfection, nor if you will realize it's right in front of you. Ambition, in this case, will give way to regret and loneliness—two terrible travel companions.

Then there are others who get married, perhaps become mothers, and do not give up work. Here, ambition is a time bomb: you know it will explode, you just don't know when. These women think it is possible to have a foot in both worlds, succeeding in reconciling both the career and conjugal and maternal love. It could be done if the business world were empathetic toward women (or couples in general). In the 21st century, we are talking about a cold and ruthless world, a fact that both men and women know all too well.

We know the story only too well. At first, everything goes smoothly: the relationship works, the woman is happy because she is finally fulfilled as a woman, being a worker and a mother. For a moment, for a very brief moment, the woman makes the mistake of forgetting the brutality of the working world.

Then, the opportunity of a lifetime presents itself. The one she has chased for a lifetime. Only at that point does she remember that brutality she has always seen and lived, but which motherhood and love made her forget.

The choice is simple: either the money or the family! In short: what do you want to sacrifice? Your happiness or that of your family? Unfortunately, the world does not accept that a mother and wife can have personal ambitions. If you are chasing that success you so desire, managing maternal and marital responsibilities becomes an unbearable burden.

With today's female mentality of "I am a woman first, then everything else," the choice ALWAYS falls on the career. This choice leads many women into a negative spiral, dragging the entire family down with them. One shouldn't have to decide, but unfortunately, this is the world. The spiral will be so large that they themselves will force a divorce, just to be free to be women again.

The reasoning holds even without children. A career woman who identifies her professional success as her individual fulfillment will always sideline the role of wife. For goodness' sake, she will try to balance work and love, but it will always be a lopsided equilibrium. When she realizes there is no space for both, she will choose the career. It is not a desired choice, as many claim, but a forced one: if you have to choose to give up two decades of struggle and sacrifice for a relationship of five years, love will always be sacrificed. Unfortunately, the world accepts no gray areas: you are either a present mother or an implacable leader. If you try to be both, the system crushes you until you have to amputate one part of your life to save the other.

Emotional and Pragmatic.

It is said that a woman makes decisions based on the emotions she feels. Well, it depends heavily on the context.

If we are talking about the work world, a woman can become a surgeon of her own emotions: she cuts them out. It’s not a lack of heart; it’s compartmentalization. In that context, her priority is the mission; everything else becomes background noise. What matters to her is only what interests her. Everything else is absolutely irrelevant. The boat can sink, but as long as her seat remains intact, she won't move an inch. One might think this attitude is due to the male world forcing her to be cold and calculating. Yes, that is the game, but she wouldn't play it so well if she weren't somehow predisposed to it. When it comes to saving herself, keeping what she has, or getting what she wants from an economic standpoint, she would kill without too much trouble.

And in love? In love, they are the opposite. Any woman in a relationship makes decisions based on emotions, not logic. How many times have we seen women make completely irrational decisions that are impossible to make with a rational mind? Many. A woman uses emotions to guide her in the choice of a partner and in daily life, but when emotion conflicts with security or ambition, the "robot protocol" kicks in.

Single women will now say "that’s absolutely not true." This objection is made because they aren't in love. When love controls one's will, emotions take over.

It is a known thing: the rather unkind saying, "you have to get into a woman's head before you get into her panties," is true. For a woman, a relationship does not exist if there is no emotional connection. A woman won't even think about getting with someone if there isn't a certain chemistry. I’m not saying a woman can't have fun with a man, but that stays on a physical plane and is therefore irrelevant.

The romantic relationships that work are the ones where she is emotionally tied to a man. If that emotionality is missing, it’s game over.

The funny thing is that a woman is capable of jumping from one mentality to another. For big decisions (house, family, children), she uses the most ruthless pragmatism; for much less important elements, she lets herself be guided by "vibes"—those emotional vibrations an object calls forth. When she says "I have nothing to wear that reflects my current emotional state," it is the classic example.

Communicative.

A woman talks. This is one of those immutable truths that govern this world. It is rare for a woman not to talk. A woman in love who cares will share everything with her man, driving the poor guy nearly to exhaustion as he sees a being that emits sounds indefinitely. If she doesn't do it, it’s because she doesn't feel at ease in the place or with the people she is with. Does she talk too much sometimes? That always depends on your idea of "too much." However, a woman who has an interest in someone will seek a connection. She will want to know everything and share everything. This is a very powerful way in which a woman seeks an emotional connection with a man. Once this communication is healthy, a whole series of unlocking mechanisms kick in that allow her to expose herself, thus becoming even more emotionally (and also physically) tied to her man.

If communication is missing, she perceives it as a cold relationship; she feels distant and fears that something isn't working. This leads her to have insecurities, to pull away on purpose for self-protection, and eventually to leave her partner.

Without communication, a woman doesn't know if you are on the same wavelength, if the vibes are the same, and she doesn't feel secure. There is nothing worse for a woman than living in the uncertainty of not knowing every detail. Even a response of "fine" could become a drama. For a man, "fine" is an exhaustive answer. For a woman, "fine" is a wall behind which a thousand doubts hide. And in doubt, her protective instinct pushes her to move away. In her mind, the signal goes off: "My man hasn't shared the whole truth with me! Something is wrong!"

It’s not just a desire to talk. It is a continuous scan: a woman needs to map the emotional state of the relationship to feel safe. If in business security is provided by the bank account and the position, in love security is provided by the transparency of words.

Curious.

Female curiosity is something carved in stone since the beginning of time. A woman wants to know. As a man, the reason eludes me. I think it’s a matter of control and power. If a woman doesn't know, she goes crazy, asking a thousand questions just to find out. It’s no coincidence that gossip is a female prerogative (even if certain men are like old hags).

A woman not only has to know, she has to feel different emotions. A predictable life, where the same things happen, is the tomb of all love for a woman. I’m not saying she has to do new things every day, or that everything must be adrenaline-fueled and exciting, but there often needs to be that something new, even something small, that breaks the monotony. It could be new food, learning something, visiting places never seen before, and so on. In more serious cases, the new haircut kicks in, but this is often a gesture of internal novelty... or a request for attention that she will get either from her partner or elsewhere.

A woman wants to share these new experiences with her partner. It’s not just a way to keep the relationship alive; it’s a physiological matter: a woman must periodically experience something new. If the man stops being a companion in exploration, he becomes part of the dust she wants to shake off. The female idea of happiness does not accept staying still forever. If the man does not satisfy her, the risk that she will try new things with other people, including other men, is quite high. There is nothing worse than living with a man who doesn't want to expand his horizons.

A Faithful "Lover".

We all know the cliché: women are all... (insert your favorite insult) and they ALWAYS cheat at the first opportunity. No, it’s not like that at all. There are women who are faithful to the end (of their life or the relationship) and who never cheat, viewing it as something abhorrent.

Women love. Women love deeply. They love their families, their loved ones, and their one true love with all of themselves. A woman has that feeling of attachment that is hard to describe as a man. If a woman is in love or emotionally attached to someone, she would die for her partner, go to the afterlife, take back her beloved, and bring him back to the world of the living.

A woman in love sees nothing but that wonderful man. He is her rock, her safe haven, that person with whom she feels protected, even if she is completely vulnerable and her defenses have been broken down. It is difficult to describe female love. It is something that must be felt and goes far beyond words. There are so many nuances that it is hard to standardize how a woman might show this love. That manifestation could be her VOLUNTARILY and with a smile on her face sharing a partner's hobby that she loathes, or she might cook his favorite dish for him without him saying a word, or grant him that peace and space he needs.

The women who expose themselves on social media and hate men are an ugly minority. The vast majority of women out there are ready to give themselves when they find the right man.

Final Reflections.

After all this writing and saying things, in the end, what is a woman?

What I can say is that she is an adorable living paradox. She is the surgeon who severs emotions to climb a corporate hierarchy and, at the same time, the soul ready to descend into hell to bring back the one she loves. She is pure ambition cloaked in pragmatism, yet nourished by a vital need for connection and novelty.

A woman is not "one single thing." She is a force of nature that adapts to the ground she treads: if the world is a sewer, she will be the most implacable of warriors; if the relationship is a safe harbor, she will be the most faithful of lovers. Understanding her isn't difficult; you just have to stop looking at the surface and accept that her true essence is the capacity to be, simultaneously, the bone and the dog that bites it, the shelter and the storm.

M.